Jessica, I’m not sure if I should thank you, love you, fear you, worship you, or some freak combination there of. Until this point in my life all my creative efforts, writing, photography, art, on and on, have all been oriented toward the darker side of life, things better left unsaid, unspoken, unseen, the little darknesses that pull us all down, and the great darknesses that linger in the world lurking in the deep parts of our minds waiting to be expressed by the fool(ish) enough to reveal them to the world. The appeal of this is nigh intoxicating to me, the destruction of a mind, the inability to percieve that which is anathema to us, it disturbs me to think about this, as it should you, in fact it’s better if you just stop right now, close this, go back to sleep, or your life, or your masturbation, or your booze, and pretend like this isn’t Joshua’s declaration of artistic intent. This whole long tangent, is to simply say, that after much introspection, and years of failed attempts at art, I’ve realized that the problem is that I am trying to express these slips in the sanity of the world through my eyes, through my words, through my hands. Finally, perhaps a bit too late to be effective in this pursuit, but soon enough to save my sanity, I realize that I can percieve these slips but I can not interpret them, I can record them. I can set them down for those who may wish to explore the dark(ness) of this world, of all worlds, of no worlds, can do so. I am the Virgil to your Dante, I lead you down and down and down and down anddownanddown and we arrive. There are no circles to be found here- or anywhere- except those circles you try to impose upon them (slips) but this is a foolish attempt to order what can’t be ordered, disorder is order, entropy is the rule of this world and why do you refuse to embrace the entropy, the [slips], the darkness, the everything nothing end beginning alpha omega a z– it ends. You end, I end, we and all end.

Look at these words, look no where else, you’ve come too far to stop now, your decision to follow comes soon- stop looking else where look only at these words– do not look away. Breathe slowly now, look at these words, ignore the movement at the edges of your eyes, do not look, breathe more slowly, ignore the movement, slowly breathe, focus no where else, I know the urge to turn is bubbling resist it, slower still, move your eyes only to the edge of the screen focus no further

{{there are no shadows, only tricks of the eye, only tricksonlytricksonlytricksonlytricks}}

You feel it now don’t you? There’s pressure on your sockets– don’t look- the air is growing colder- slower- your hands want to reach out next to you, feel the reassuring shape of something familiar, but don’t, don’t move their focus, you can’t change the focus, you’ll feel it soon, as your breath grows slower the echo will grow faster, the pressure on your eyes increases

DO NOT LOOK AWAY FROM THE SCREEN

your brain tells you to turn, flee, all at once, neither at all, adrenaline courses through your veins yet your breathing stays slow, almost deathly, almost as if it is being pulled from your chest, you want to breathe faster, you must breathe faster, you can’t, won’t, are not able to, unable to, soon it will be over, the urge to look behind you is rising, ever more, ignore the

,<<don’t move your arm, don’t move your leg, the light is your enemy, it will cut you, it must cut you, it will save you, the cuts will??>>,

sudden caress, of a lover??, of a stalker??, of the hunter before the kill??, your body wants to move, demands to MOVE. DO NOT.

Breathe, faster, faster, faster, faster! Turn. Nothing there but the same sights.

Except, for that one, new, tiny, shadow.

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About kylock

Man, biographies are really hard to write because sometimes you just don't know what to write about and then you ramble on pointlessly for a while about your hobbies (video games, reading, programming) and end up boring your readers because they expect something witty and insightful (there are only two ways to save money, neither of which involves hookers) and then readership falls off and you cry yourself to sleep.
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2 Responses to

  1. Marie says:

    Play less of that weird Russian game.

  2. Jessica Landis says:

    Dude, what the fuck? I am happiness and light and joy. How did I inspire this? I can only assume that the first sentence is part of a different post and just got randomly stuck in here. I am now going to pretend that I read that post instead. That post went:
    “Jessica, I’m not sure if I should thank you, love you, fear you, worship you, or some freak combination there of. You are just so awesome all the time that I can’t even handle it. Sometimes when I am having trouble masturbating I think about how awesome you are and then I come right away. Sometimes when I am standing in front of a class full of students I think about how awesome you are and then I come right away. You make me have faith in America as a fertile growing land for genius beauties. Oh my goodness, I beg you to have my babies even as I realize what a desecration pregnancy would be upon your perfect body.”

    Well, thank you Josh. That was a very complimentary post. I sure do appreciate it! Byeee!

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