The greatest list to ever exist.

So, I’m sick. Very. Very. Very. Sick. I almost puked in class a few times today. But I feel like you all deserve a post, and post you will get! It wasn’t my original plan, of the greatest ROBOT SANTA story to ever exist, but this will tide you over until then, right? Right.

I know all of you miss me, a lot, and I can fathom that at least 10 of you out there want me to be happy this holiday season. “But how can we do that for you?” you might be asking. Well… here you go. The personalized list of what you can do to make me happy this holiday season.

Dad: Get drunk, then tell stories about blowing things up in Greece.

Mom: Make the best damn Carrot Cassarole ever. Then let Jason eat NONE.

Jason: Play the Witcher. RIGHT NOW.

Opa: Relax. Be amazing. Let everyone spoil you.

Grandma: See what I did for Opa x2.

Grandpa: Dance! Kidding. Do what grandma and opa are doing too.

Chuck: Get drunk, then tell stories about fighting Greeks.

Ellen: Keep Chuck from being too much of an asshole.

Taylor: Find a hot girl… you know where I’m going with this.

Rachel: Find a hot guy… you know where I’m going with this.

Lisa: Kick my brother. Then be awesome.

Johna/Wes: Make an AMAZING meal. Then don’t let Jason eat any.

Bridgers: Come to Korea. No? Then keep on being the (second) best dog ever.

Michelle: Be happy. Get drunk. Keep on being the most amazing friend I’ve ever had.

Marie: Buy something on the DS we can play Wi-fi. If you have no wireless, get a router and a game.

Brandon: Can’t touch perfection.

Patrick: Get back together with nerd girl. If not, become a monk.

Krista: Marry me? If not, send me cookies.

Turner: Buy Persona 4. Then make out with hotties.

Andy: Make out with hotties. Then buy Chrono Trigger DS.

Charlotte: I think you know.

Jacqueline: FINISH MY SHOES.

Kristina: I think you know what to do as well.

Teh Myke (Aka Teh Negro Black): Bring a Quickstop to ME! And have a great year.

Maximilian: Clear your calendar for PAX!

Beans/Diva: Keep being the best dumb dogs ever.

Kiwi: Keep being the best dog ever.

Kurtis/Cathy: Serve White Castle Cassarole, with a side of White Russians.

Tawnos: Don’t die out there. Seriously.

And last, but not least.

Lee Hyeon: Burn. Burn to the ground.
(If you’re not on here, I don’t love you. Kidding! I do love you. My brain is just too drugged and/or diseased to be coherent.)

But most of all everyone: Have an AMAZING Christmas.



About kylock

Man, biographies are really hard to write because sometimes you just don't know what to write about and then you ramble on pointlessly for a while about your hobbies (video games, reading, programming) and end up boring your readers because they expect something witty and insightful (there are only two ways to save money, neither of which involves hookers) and then readership falls off and you cry yourself to sleep.
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11 Responses to The greatest list to ever exist.

  1. Lisa says:

    Mission Accomplished!! Merry Christmas! We miss you!

  2. Jason says:

    1) Witcher is in St. Louis on your computer.
    2) OW!
    3) Damn Lisa is awesome.

    Merry Christmas! We do miss you 😥

  3. Bridgers says:

    To hell with you! Number 2? I’ll freakin’ bite you. I’m a freakin’ lion you know.

    I did a super-poo this morning…

  4. Lisa says:

    Mission Accomplished! Merry Christmas! We miss you!

  5. Bridgers says:

    To hell with you! Number 2? I’ll bite you. I’m a freakin’ lion you know.

    I did a super-poo this morning…

  6. Marie says:

    Poor Jason apparently gets no food for Christmas. You’re such a nice guy, Snow.

    And I have Mario Kart. That has wi-fi. So does Cooking Mama 2. But I am guessing you mean, like…non-girl games. Fine.

    And yes, Brandon is perfect.

    Merry Christmas!

  7. Mychael says:


    will do good sir…you then as well do the same (that is such weird syntax).

  8. T says:

    super merry x-mas!

  9. Krista says:

    Cookies shall be on their way!!! 😀 Oatmeal Raisin correct? All I need is an address ^_^ Miss you! Merry Christmas!!!!!!

  10. Patrick says:


  11. Tay says:

    Josh good call I will work on that for you. My dad and your dad did get drunk at Rachel’s grad party and told stories about Greece. Hope you get better soon

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