I just… no.

Today, oh today. Thank you dearest brother for defusing much of my ire. I was seriously considering a “GET ME OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW” post, but Jason has tempered me. For now.

That doesn’t mean today sucked any less though. Let me set for you a scene, if I may, a scene of quiet happiness, gently singing birds, warm rays of sun on a cool windy day, other generally cliched sayings implying my day was quite good, and so on. Obama won the election, my hip stopped hurting, Michelle was having a decent day, I talked to CHarlotte. All was well. I go to work, all smiles and grins, and then April sees me come in. “Oh Joshua, can we talk?” Well, this is nothing unusual so I of course reply “Why certainly my good madame!” She smiles, the strain showing in her eyes, “Well in this class, the students all say you kicked this student.”


The homeroom teacher for this class, GM-2 (or as I call it “SATAN’S SPAWNING PIT OF DOOMED CHILDREN”), walked up and said “Yes, they all say you kicked this student.” April then chimes in “They say you are very strict and mean!” I’m, quite literally, at a loss for words. I tell them that I of course did not kick this kid, and explain to them what actually happened. I have no idea if they believed it. I would lean towards no. I won’t tell you what I said, instead I will setup another scene.

Flashback to Three Weeks Ago

April today informed us that we must give additional tests to students who are generally very bad or those who do not bring their books. I can handle this, as it allows me more power to threaten the kids without actually making them do more work. I enjoy control. Yes, it makes my life easier when dealing with a language barrier. I approve.

*Time passes*

Well, I had to give out tests today. GM-2 got them, since most of them had no books. They certainly looked very, very, irate at me. Almost like they loathed me. I wonder if this will come to be a problem. *MASSIVE FORSHADOWING OMG IT REALLY IS*

Returning to the Present

So. I’m in GM-2 on Tuesday, and things start out well. They really do. Really. But since I didn’t immediately crack down on the students talking and throwing shit at each other, it got worse. And they didn’t pay attention more often, didn’t keeip up in the book, and talked more. It was a downward spiral of losing control. So I cracked down. Made them be quiet, took up work from other classes, made them put away exacto knives and yes, woke students up. But no, ONE of them decided he would sleep no matter what I did, no matter how loud I yelled. So I go to the back of the room and tap his shoulder to wake him up, he turns, looks at me, says “Okay teacher” then PUTS HIS HEAD BACK DOWN TO SLEEP. I was pissed off at this point, and walked away hastily before I smacked the shit in his face. In my haste I turned too quickly and tripped over the kid’s chair which jostled him pretty hard.

…And apparently that was my act of kicking.

The Korean teachers assumed I did it, because the students were unanimous in their hatred of me (lets ignore the fact that at most six of them were looking at me, much less could see my legs) so I am automatically wrong. Becuase I’ve discovered something about Korean children, apparently they never lie, never do wrong, and any problems in the classes are automatically MY fault. Not theirs.

Not ever.



About kylock

Man, biographies are really hard to write because sometimes you just don't know what to write about and then you ramble on pointlessly for a while about your hobbies (video games, reading, programming) and end up boring your readers because they expect something witty and insightful (there are only two ways to save money, neither of which involves hookers) and then readership falls off and you cry yourself to sleep.
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5 Responses to I just… no.

  1. Marie says:

    Dear effing god. How did your brother convince you to stay? I mean, seriously, what the hell? I can see angry children making up stories, but since when is the authority dumb enough to believe them? I also love that they told you to be more strict and then scolded you for it. How dare you obey them?!

    Seriously. Stay with us for a week or so until you get a lease signed, find a job (post office is still hiring), and get the eff out of Korea.

  2. Mychael says:

    wow. maybe you really did kick the kid. you could have blacked out and don’t really know what happened. only you and your god/gods knows the answer for sure. regardless….i’d have kicked the shit out the kid, its not like he/they didn’t deserve it.

    and for future reference….people that are not white are incapable of lying. i have stated many times that lying is against black peoples’ programming…well, the same goes for all non-white ethnicities….and lemurs….fucking lying ass money wannabes.

  3. Mychael says:

    that last part should say something to the effect that white people are the only creatures capable of lying…them and lemurs etc. etc…..i totally fucked up my joke. damn lemurs.

  4. Shell says:

    *pat pat* It’ll be ok. Deep breaths. Save the child killing for AFTER we’ve invented the plasma ray and it’s much more efficient.

  5. Cheese says:

    Kids make up convincing stories. If they really investigated it, you would come out clean… granted they bother to really investigate.

    You are tough. You can handle one year. And you’ll be proud of yourself when you do make it through… then you can leave with your head held high and the bird flying as you sprint to the airport.

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