Okay, fine.

I know I’ve been promising (for what, a month now?) that I’d give everyone this address so you could keep up with my life.

Except I hadn’t written anything TO keep up with.

But that’s all going to change now, I hope, because I am quite positive everyone is back in the states witing with baited breath (or at least in my head you are) to hear about the glorious exploits that the prodigal son has gotten into. Alas, there haven’t been any exploits and very few adventures! So let’s get this party started, and get you all up to date on my life!
Rolling back to the August 22nd, 2008 baby.

August 22nd, 830 am.

My brother, my sister in law, and my adopted nephew-dog, drop me off at the airport. By which I mean they pushed me out of a moving car, threw my bags onto my face (at least aim for the soft spots next time guys!) and drove off cackling madly.

It was an auspicious start to the day.

I gathered my wits, thought of a few snarky insults (and kept them to myself, always good to have comebacks for a rainy day!) picked up my bags, and headed into the glorious port of commuting, Saint Louis- Lambert Field. Or something like that. I can’t be bothered to remember such small details.

August 22nd 1005(ish) am.

I board the plane heading to Minneapolis St. Paul. This event is very unremarkable. The plane is also very unremarkable, and is also so tiny that when I keep my knees together I’m touching the man next to me. And he’s an angry business man. “Hang on Paul,” he says as I try and move into my assigned seat “there’s someone trying to get past me.” he says with all the anger only self-important business men can muster.

This is going to be a long two hours.

August 22nd 1230 (or there abouts) pm.

Oh sweet hozannah the plane has landed and I am away from the man who tries to absorb me as his fat spreads out from his sleeping body! The Minneapolis airport is much, much, larger than I thought it would be. This confuses me. Confuses me so much, in fact, that I completely forget to take pictures until I get to Tokyo. Whoops.

I spent about a hour deciding what I wanted to eat, and finally fell upon Chili’s. An order of Southwestern Egg Rolls, a Chicken Ranch sandwich, and three glasses of lemonade later I wander to my gate and stare at the behemoth of a plane that is going to carry me to Tokyo.

The only thing I can think of, staring at this marvel of human engineering, is that I really have to pee.

August 22nd 330 (maybe? I forget) pm.

Onto the 747, on to the 747 I go! The 747 is huge. No word can more accurately describe it. I settle in for what I hope will be a fairly short 12 hours of my life. I pull out my Nintendo DS and turn it on. Okay, the batteries are dead. I pull out the PSP, and the batteries are dead in it too. iPod? Dead batteries. Laptop? Dead battery (30 minutes later.)

I strongly resist stabbing myself in the eye for not charging a damn thing.

Hours 1-3 consisted of me trying not to wake the others as I sat in the middle of three seats, while trying very hard to not break my neck and fall asleep at the same time. No luck. Hours 4-6 consisted of a chicken meal, with dog food gravy, a movie (Made of Honor! Which I watched start to finish.) and snacks. The sixth through eighth hours consisted of some movie with Alfred from the new Batman movies and some actress whose name I forget. Diamonds are involved. They bring us more snacks. Hours 8-10 were more tolerable, as they showed Kung-Fu Panda, which was better than I thought it would be. More snacks, then breakfast.

I can’t remember the last two hours at all.

August 23rd 505pm (local time)


Kind of.

It seems I ended up going to the lesser of the Tokyo airports, because I didn’t end up seeing a SINGLE DAMN SKYSCRAPER. WHAT THE HELL?! But that’s okay, I finally managed to remember to take some pictures!

Yes, the first picture I took was of the people at the gate waiting for the Seoul flight. So what?

Mmm, delicious people.

Mmm, delicious people.

After I found my gate and checked in I decided to wander and find Michelle since she threatened asked me for a gift from Tokyo. I stumbled upon this most glorious little Japanese gift shop, and bought Michelle’s gift and some green tea.


It really is tea!

It really is tea!

August 23rd 650pm (local time)

I finally board the plane to Seoul which, oddly enough, is the best of the three planes I’ve been on today. Personal tv screens, more leg room, spacious, two pillows! Korea knows how to roll. Plane takes off, I watch part of Iron Man, or something, plane lands. I’m in Seoul!

August 23rd 930pm (local time)

Incheon, Seoul’s airport, is massive. And it is deserted.

And it is creepy as hell.

I make it through customs, no problem at all, get my bags after a few minutes delay and head out to find the man who is going to send me in the right direction. We find each other, he grabs my bags, hands me a bus ticket, takes me to a bus stop, says “LAST STOP! SUWON! LAST STOP!” he disappears.

I’m so very confused.

August 23rd, 1020pm (local time)

I hop on the bus to, presumably, Suwon. Fighting exhaustion at this point, I manage to stay awake for most of the trip through Seoul, just to see what it is like.

25 story skyscrapers. That are apartment buildings. 5 per complex. There are ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE floors of apartments in an area roughly the same size of my parent’s property. Based on the average Korean apartment size, I’d say that there are easily 10-15 thousand people living in that one complex.

Their efficency staggers me.

August 23rd 1120pm (local time)

I get off the bus and April, my supervisor at work, loads me into a car and hurriedly takes me to my new domicile, bringing in sheets and a pillow for me. Briefly shows me where things are. Disappears.

I contemplate my bags, then rapidly pass out.


About kylock

Man, biographies are really hard to write because sometimes you just don't know what to write about and then you ramble on pointlessly for a while about your hobbies (video games, reading, programming) and end up boring your readers because they expect something witty and insightful (there are only two ways to save money, neither of which involves hookers) and then readership falls off and you cry yourself to sleep.
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One Response to Okay, fine.

  1. Jason says:

    We would have stopped to say goodbye to you had you left enough gas in the car for us to do that…

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