Man oh man, do I hate consumerism. Ironic, considering the company I work for. It’s something that just makes so little sense to me; why do people enjoy getting up so early, dealing with so many people, fighting over things, for products that no one really needs, most don’t even really want, and are generally just another way for us to waste time? If I were ever asked what the most pointless human activity is, I would be hard pressed to find one more pointless than rampant consumerism.
On to lighter things, my employees are all incompetent save Marie. Like… man. I can’t wait for new ones.
It’s been a long time since I updated, I know, in fact to be perfectly honest I had completely forgotten that this blog existed. But thanks to a little freindly reminder from my Faja I’m back in business to annoy all of you with my misbegotten ramblings and insanity! Also, there will be many a mention of sex and sexually related things. But you all saw that coming.
Hehe. Coming.
I moved to Jeff City, like any of you don’t know that already, to be the assistant store manager of the new Gamestop in said city (man, my grammar is on fire!) and also to stop sitting at home all day going “Durh, I should be productive… but oh well, I can do that tomorrow.” I know Marie has given me endless amounts of grief about giving up games, but I finally realized I keep playing them because A) I refuse to get off the computer and do something else B) They fill lots of down time when I *should* be doing something else C) They don’t require me to put in the effort to learn anymore skills. I’m not going to say I’m giving up games totally this time, but I am going to say that there will be a reduction in them since I remembered what it felt like to actualyl get something done, or learn something new, and it feels damn good. Plus, games cost money. Or time. Normally both. I don’t have enough of those to waste on games.
The job itself is going very well, although my employees are a little daft, and I hardly feel any of the soul crushing despair I felt going into my *last* job so I consider that a marked improvment. Though I certainly do miss the sheer insanity of Korea, I find the predictable redneck insanity of Missouri far more tolerable. Though for some reason everyone in Jeff City seems to have British teeth (sorry Matty B) and it makes me wonder how much Meth and Chewing Tobaccer are running around there. Alas, as long as they buy shit from me I don’t much care what the hell they have. Unless they try and stab me, but that is why we keep box cutters around.
And now I go off to devour too much turkey, then sleepily drive my way home. Yay working on black friday!
Today is officially the best day of the year. Why? Because it is the day that daylight savings time ends, and that means we all convince ourselves that there is an extra hour for us to waste doing pointless stupidity! And honestly, who doesn’t enjoy the cognitive dissonance that comes with thinking you get a free hour of time once a year? I know I sure enjoy it. Though all I did was spend it reading a Let’s Play. But hey, it was an hour I wouldn’t have otherwise had and that is what’s important! Yesssss.
So what did you do with your free hour of time?
So I have an interesting decision to make, I have an offer for a job working at Arvest bank as a teller for 9 dollars an hour… or I can move to Jeff City and work as a Gamestop Assistant manager for 11 an hour. Thoughts?
I promised Jacqueline that I would write a blog about zombies, so here we go:
Did you know zombies eat brains? It’s true. But why is it that zombies desire the human brain over all other forms of protein, much less forms of brains? It’s an interesting question, with perhaps too much speculation and myth surrounding the zombie for us to ever find the truth, but in this author’s opinion the zombie virus brings forth a latent desire to consume the flesh of those who are inferior to us.
Yeah, I got nothing. Happy Halloween everyone!
Not too much to really talk about today, Monday certainly wasn’t the day that I was expecting it to be; to make a long story short it was a pretty shitty day. I also wish Gearbox would have released a game that wasn’t buggy as all get out on release, if I can play RE5 in a window at max graphics but can’t run Borderlands on lowest graphics without random freezes something is wrong with your game. Fuckers.
Yesterday wasn’t too bad though, I played in a Zendikar draft and took second place and then I ran some errands and got an interview setup for today. Then I went over to Pat’s and we mocked terrible blog writing then I played Uncharted 2 until I got sick of jumping off cliffs and dying. Question: why did the gaming community flip shit in Prince of Persia whenever you ‘died’ but instead were just pulled back to the save point, calling the game unchallenging, yet in Uncharted 2 you do literally the same thing save that someone doesn’t ’save’ you and no one cares at all? Is seeing Nathan Drake die just that much more important to the believability of the game? No, it really isn’t. Gamers are just a bunch of whiny idiots.
The plan for today is: interview, deck building, then Pat’s for TOP CHEF OH YEAH.
<3
-Snow
Well the big news for this week is that Ami broke up with me last night (I can’t honestly say ‘we’ broke up, because that just wasn’t the case at all) which definitely put a pretty big down on the rest of the day. I can’t say I was too surprised though, which was the worst and best part of the whole thing. Then my dad took me out to get icecream because he is an awesome man, and he listened to me whine and moan about life. Then later Krista Pat and I had sushi and Krista bought the sushi! She’s so nice to us.
But on the upside, Borderlands today!
The real question is: where the hell do I want to go now?
Pat and I saw the Vampire’s Assistant today. He convinced me to see it because we both love seeing terrible movies, then mocking them relentlessly (see: 9) and it is an excellent way to kill an afternoon when there is nothing else to do or see. Now, we fully went in expecting a bad movie. We were under no delusions that this would be good. (I mean, come on, it had Will Ferrel’s partner as a fucking vampire.) But oh how we were wrong. So so so so so so wrong.
Apparently adapted from a series of books, the Vampire’s Assistant is about a boy who becomes a vampire in order to save the life of his best friend who was bitten by a deadly spider, which he stole from the vampire who makes him into a vampire. Still with me? It doesn’t matter. The friend gets all pissy and bitter because it was his dream to become the vampire, wank wank wank, they become mortal enemies, whatever. The plot I could forgive, if the acting was good or if the fight scenes were cool, or hell even if the damn movie was funny.
Speaking of funny, the other people in the audience got quite a few laughs from the movie but none got more laughter than this gem:
Boy: So can I turn into a bat?
Vampire: No, that’s bullshit.
*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA* OH MAN, LET ME GET UP OFF THE FLOOR I AM LAUGHING SO HARD. OH MAN, OH LORD I CAN’T BREATHE.
And that was the BEST JOKE in the whole damn movie. I think the movie was just trying to be edgy and funny by using curse words (they said shit 4 times and damn once, and not a single damn did it make any sense for the characters to use them.) So yay, cussing a good movie makes? I dunno.
The acting was horrible, and actually the most convincing actor was fucking Ferrel’s partner- it should tell you something about your movie when the best actor in it is the guy who was a star of Taledega Nights. The main character had the emotional depth of a rock, the villains were so over the top or one dimensional that they were reduced to tedium, and… FUCK.
And the plot made no sense, they would just bring up random stuff then toss it away. “I create zombies!” Oh that’s cool. Why? No idea. How? No idea. Does it matter at all? Nope.
FUCK I HATE THIS MOVIE.
-Snow
Which means it is time for FNM!
Also, I may have a job soon! YAY!
No, the blog title has nothing to do with anything that I am going to be writing about. I just wanted to write ‘The Ducks of Wrath’ for some inexplicable reason.
Although, now that I think about it, having an army of ducks which wandered the world dispensing their wrathful judgments upon those who have wronged the Ducks sounds kind of neat. They would wander up and down the streets of your city, and if you knew you had done nothing wrong you could walk in their presence without fear. The Ducks would simply nod at you as you went on your way. But if you had harmed another, or stolen, or just been a generally bad person no amount of running could save you. You couldn’t drive fast enough away, eventually you must stop for gas, or food, or sleep. They need no such trifles. And even if you managed to get a plane to a new country they would follow you. They know where you are, always, and will never stop hunting you.
Be warned.
Moving on, I want to know why so many people insist on being so very ignorant when it comes to blatantly obvious things. Why do so many people assume, guess, hope(?), that the government is actively working against them? I’m not saying it is impossible, it certainly is, I’m just trying to figure out what the government has to gain from it. The first answer would probably be power, which I can agree with to an extent, except for the fact that in order for that to work someone would have to control enough of the Government (Judicial, Legislative, and Executive) in order to actually gain working control of the government. You would have to control, or have sway of, 2/3 of the entire government in order to really have control of it. And even then, it is entirely possible to remove the people who are in office. This is of course assuming that people even bother with the democratic process.
Really, that’s my point. If someone truly just wanted to take over the government, and the government was all out to get us, they’d just say “To hell with this election shit!” and setup a dictatorship or something. Even if every politician wanted to rule to government it would never happen because they would all be fighting each other.
Stop hating government, prease.
-Snow
Winter is generally a pretty great time of the year, mostly because of the holidays, but I think God decided that in order to maintain some sense of balance (and to keep us from becoming too happy) he should also make winter one of the most god awfully terrible and confusing experiences of our lives. Some of you may hate winter because it gets so cold, or because the snow and ice can make it terrible to want to leave your house, or maybe because the wind can carry with it an impending sense of downright doom. This is not why I hate winter though.
I hate winter because it is confusing.
See, more so in winter than summer, it cools down pretty quickly in the evenings and I live on the second floor so my room doesn’t heat up quite as quickly as does everyone else’s (not because heat doesn’t rise, but because the rest of the house has to get heated before my room will, it’s not like the heat just gets sucked up the stairs) so I often times spend the nights under two or more blankets wearing full PJs. This doesn’t really bother me in the slightest, it’s actually quite comfy, but what pisses me off is when I get up and get out of bed and my room hasn’t warmed up. My first reaction is: Well, it’s still cold. Better keep my clothes on and/or put on a hoodie. But nooooooo. It just turns out that the heater turned itself off in the middle of the night because downstairs warmed up and the sun can’t warm my room because the curtains are closed. I woke up freezing my ass off yesterday and then took my dogs out and it was LIKE 68 OUTSIDE. What in the hell?!
This is confusing.
-Snow
